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Thursday, June 24, 2010

21. dear future mother-in-law

Magic Jack was a wonderful invention. It was the secret how I coped up with my long distance relationship with my boyfriend when he first left for the United States.

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Yesterday, was a hard day for my boyfriend and he wanted to talk to his mom. Unfortunately their magicjack back home had already expired months ago, that's why I lent them mine. But then, my magicjack had also expired just recently. I feel sad for my boyfriend because I know how close he was with his mother and I know how her mother treats him like a best friend. I know how he feels that at times that he needs someone most (aside from me filling up that empty feeling), it's still different when a son runs to his mom for comfort.

I had the privilege in my phone to have an unlimited international texting feature which I used to communicate to his mom. But I know that wasn't enough, so my boyfriend and I talked that I will renew the magicjack using my credit card. I know how much he needs to talk to his mom and I know how much his mother would want to talk to his first born. I'm not a mom yet, but I guess it's really different for a mom to be away from her child.

In a matter of minutes (with a little delay because they accidentally plugged a different MJ and I forgot they needed my email and password to re-activate it), the magicjack was already renewed and they can use it to call the United States unlimited and any time.

My boyfriend was being impatient and kept bugging me why his mom hasn't called yet. As I said, we encountered a little delay and the first person his mom called was me! =P. We weren't able to talk that much because I told him how badly his son needed to talk to him. So we said goodbye and we agreed we will just talk another time. 

That another time...

happened tonight.

I texted my "FMIL" (future mother-in-law), for her to call me when she has the chance. I said that I need to talk to her and tell her something. At first, it was my boyfriend's uncle who called me and I was suprised! Apparently FMIL was at their house and since I told her that I needed to talk to her, she contacted me at once. But I said I think it would be just better to call me when she gets home... I expected that it was going to be a very longggg conversation.

I told my FMIL that his son & I have been quarreling often during our moments together. And during those moments, his son was showing signs of aggressiveness that I have never seen back in Manila before. My future-mother-in-law already knew exactly what I was talking about. I was trying to explain everything and she told me that, of all the people, she herself would understand what exactly I was talking about. That at the heat of argumentation he would look like he was just "possessed". And that was scary. I could still picture it on my mind.

She told me that ever since his son was young, she would always say "you will never grow up like your father". And it was effective, his son was a fine man who protects & loves his mom & sisters so much. I was lucky to have a future mom who knew exactly how to raise his son. She told me how his son would always be affected and defensive whenever his dad was in a "possessed" mode.

I told her that it has never happened before in the Philippines and his son always knew how to keep his patience in front of me, no matter how angry he already was. But now his son is growing up far from her now and she explained that she doesn't know what kind of influence that people around my boyfriend are giving him now. It might be the stress but still, there's no valid excuse for his behavior.

Then she told me that next time it happens again, I should remind him that his mother always told him that she never wanted him to imitate his father's aggressive behavior.

I wouldn't know about encountering a situation like that again since I'm already in L.A.

Even so if we are together already, well, I hope I won't have to experience it again.


  1. Wen u luv sum1 ...u need 2 ..cope wid every facet of his personality ...I believe aggression is sumthn quite normal....FMIL laws are quite sweet dese...

  2. i just love the way your FMIL reacted and how was so nice and understanding!


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