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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

123. I never thought I would say this but, "I wanna go back home in the P.I."

Since I left Manila in June, I have never felt this sad.

And I'm bursting in tears silently so my parents won't notice how broken my heart is right now.

My sister and my nephew already left and flew last night back to the Philippines. Even though they were only here for two weeks, my stay in the United states will never be the same again.

Although I will see them in 2 months again,shopping in Ross, Marshals, Nordstrom Rack, 99cents, Best Buy and Toys R Us will never be the same again. I miss my annoying nephew grabbing random shoes and saying my name again and again without stopping until I notice him and telling me "how about this?".
 
Although my sister and nephew can get to my nerves, it feels so lonely here in the house. I will miss my sister asking me for my phone and people I don't know leaving voice mails for my sister. I will miss my nephew asking me to use my computer to play Call of Duty.

Although the house was a real mess when they were around, I will miss the joy that the mess constitutes saying that "there's too many things going on in here".

Although my parents decided to stay longer here in the US to be with me until I go back home in Manila, (I'm not really sure if I should rejoice about the idea because aren't one of the reasons I left was to be away from them? lol), I will miss going out with the whole family which we really don't do back home.

Although I am used to being literally alone everyday for the past 3 months, I will miss the noise that my sister and my nephew had established here in the house when they were here.

Getting used to how things are going to be from now on, is just the easy part.

It's the transition of changes that makes moving on a tough one.


What's making it worst are my parents, with every moment and every movement not failing to mention, "If the grandchild was here...."

People. Coming and Going. Leaving. Saying Good Bye.


Life is like that. Everything's going fine and people come into our lives changing everything. Then at one point, they leaves us whether by death or by travel. 


WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST STAY

But we know that doesn't happen. We too are leavers at some point in our lives.

Just as it took my dad 2 years before he finally bought me a ticket to go here in the United States alone.

These past 2 weeks have made me realize that maybe it's not yet the time to leave my family and my home in Manila. Maybe I still need to live under my dad's roof for a few more years. Maybe because I need to spend time with them a little more before I make any further changes. But I will never regret that I had come here in the first place. I have learned so many things being alone in a different country.

As my dad always says, "Que Sera Sera". The future will be, will be.

And then a package arrives.... it's for my sister.



I MISS YOU ANNOYING NEPHEW AND IRRITATING SISTER. 
MY GAP YEAR WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.



I made a Time Capsule for my Nephew when we he goes back in the states again.

"Goodbye Los Angeles! Don't Panic! I will be back!" from the words of my 7 year old nephew =)

6 comments:

  1. "Dont Panic!"--reminds me of the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" :D

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  2. Awww, this made me sad too. Okay, time for some online *HUGS* to be sent your way.

    I hope this bit of news will make you smile at least a little: I gave you a One Lovely Blog Award. When you get a chance, please stop by my blog for details. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awww... :C

    The time capsule is really cute. I wish I can go to the states one day. :) Take care hun! *hugs*

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  4. Homesickness is the worst! Aww i feel for you, chin up though, just count the days till you will see them again.

    Alice X

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  5. Heidi!!! when you do.. you can stay at our place! lol :)

    Alice, its not really home sickness... it was really fun having my nephew around here.

    ReplyDelete

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