|FIRE = ANGER = HATE|
other than that, I so feel bad that I'm going to be stuck here at home for the weekend!!!!! NO PLANS! what the hell.... So I had to make sure something's going to happen to me next week. I told my cousin's friend, I wanted to go shopping. We're going out on Monday, weee. I really need to go back to H&M and Forever21.
I have to keep myself busy everyday, and make sure that I make plans. Because if i don't, my mind just ends up wandering and missing my boyfriend. Including questioning a lot of things about our relationship and most especially starting to hate his relatives.
Why do they want us to break up? Can't we all just go along now and cooperate? Yea, my boyfriend blames me again with the incident back in San Francisco. But now, the decisions from last June 23 just started to sink in. I started to feel the consequences of our agreement. I wasn't allowed to text him because my number will show up in the bill, nor can I call him. He cannot just call me anytime of the day because he's always with his relatives. And I shouldn't even talk to any of his cousins or anyone connected to him back in San Francisco. I was supposed to "lay low" which was a very hard task for me since I am too attached to his family already and I'm just to sociable to resist talking to any of them.
I started questioning my boyfriend that, there can be other alternatives and that he just doesn't want to defend himself against the decision of his relatives. Heck, its not even his parents who's requesting for us to break up. It's his' uncles and aunts. This week, I have said a lot of I hate you's and I hate your relatives and I hate everybody. That was just what I felt because of what they are doing to me. I just couldn't understand why.
If they wanted me to cooperate to their project they could have just told me. I know I made an awful reaction but things can be discussed. Not by telling me to stay away from my boyfriend. They're just making this long distance relationship even more difficult. They don't realize that the decision they have made just makes my boyfriend even "more distracted". So many questions. So many hate.
People are just not giving enough reason, when I know there can be other alternatives...