I spent the rest of the week, resting and practically doing nothing but again surf the internet the whole frickin' day.But a lot of things have been going on with my boyfriend and I recently. I am mad again. Is it a pattern that whenever I have consecutive days of boredom I end up thinking about too much and getting too emotional?
This week I received an invitation from my uncle back in San Jose. It was the Christening invitation of my soon to be born cousin. This means I'm going back to San Francisco again. I have long removed the idea that I still wanted to go back there. But until recently I realized and told myself, why should I let my boyfriend & relatives hold me back to my plans? I mean, they have already ruined much.
And because of my plans of going back to San Francisco, brought back again a lot of complexities. Complexities of where I can stay (because I cannot stay at my boyfriend's relatives anymore, obviously) and complexities that my boyfriend will again go M.I.A (missing in action) once I'm around.
I told him, well you ARE definitely going to be missing simply because they are trying to take you away from me. And now we have no choice but to keep secrets from them. I was so mad and frustrated because now I'm feel all these stress, because I did want to go back. I did want to go to my cousin's christening. I did want to meet more of my friends in Frisco. And most of all, I did want to see my boyfriend again and do things we weren't able to do before.
Again cross my frustrations. My confusions. My hate. My questions. Why? Why are they doing this to me? Why are they making such extreme decisions? Do they even care about what I would feel? Well, of course they won't... I'm not related to them.
But in the end I had to decide for myself.
I booked a flight.
I'll be keeping it discrete from his relatives and anyone close about my flight back to San Francisco. The heck I know they don't want me to be there, well then the more that I would want to be there. Who are they to ban me from going back to the bay? I left my heart in San Francisco.... and I want to go back and get it.