As much as possible I tried to keep myself busy and focused on the present activities that I am currently doing, I couldn't help but let my mind wander around. I kept thinking about going back at my cousin's apartment. Logging in my computer. Talking to my boyfriend on the internet. Although, I have yahoo messenger on my phone, I was just not in the mood to move around. Not because I'm lazy, but because I'm having a hard time enjoying the moment anyway.
I was even having a hard time to look around or buy anything. All I could just think of is how much I just want to be with my boyfriend now. It seems that nothing could keep me busy anymore or keep my mind off my boyfriend. Obsession, that could be the word to describe.
It's worst than a break up, I could cry my heart out and eat my way out to depression. This was not depression that chocolates, ice cream and romantic movies could take away. This was misery. I'm out with my cousins, and yet my mind is still about my boyfriend. No matter how much distraction I try to redirect my attention too, it just doesn't work. I'm going crazy. It's like I have my world.
I'm miserable.
My boyfriend told me to just enjoy the baseball game that my cousin and I are going to watch later tonight. I'm not really a sports fan. But I guess it might just take my mind off this misery. Even just temporarily.
Awh don't despair.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how hard this must be. xx